This is how I create first-date tender sexual menace…
First date - crisp sandwiches on a bench. I will flick off the pigeon shit. We can put plastic bags down if it is wet. I spy. Maybe a game of ‘Curbsies’ (if you don’t know what that is then don’t even bother, probably). I’d let you have the wee broken bits in the bottom of my packet of crisps - unless they are smoky bacon. Then, when we have the thirst, cans of coke or pepsi, whatever mum has in the fridge (I think she normally buys pepsi on Wednesdays, I only date on Thursdays - long story). On the count of three we pierce a hole in the bottom of the cans and bring this to our mouths, and who ever can drink the longest without taking their mouth away from the can wins the other glove, because what I like to do is give one glove to the girl I am dating and I wear the other, I’m mostly romantic and stuff. But if you win then you get both gloves. I can’t wait - pure 100% fun.
